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Confused by what you hear on our show? You’re not the only one. Or maybe you’re too lazy to click play on an episode but want to seem cool in front of a group of people who do listen to the podcast (and believe me, these are people you definitely want to impress). Well either way, the Insane Ramblings glossary can help you out!

Think of our glossary of an Insane Ramblings specific Urban Dictionary, but with less use of phrases like ‘dawg’ and ‘sargasm’, and more uses of phrases like ‘awesome envy’ and ‘snorgasm’.
*Now featuring 100% less ‘snorgasm’

Episodes 11-20

Episode 11 - I really wanna see something beautiful die!
Term
Definition
Couches "We’re heavy."
'The greatest annoyance of modern man' Losing the remote.
'The great remote heist by myself of last night' Losing the remote.
Remote reliance When you can’t do on the TV, what you can do with the remote.
DVD remote companies Sneaky bastards.
Overpodcasting Something that we’re not doing yet, right? Right?
The average number of faces One.
Chinese whisper idea When you have to go through several people to get the original idea.
Not hiring When you have enough friends, and don’t need any more.
The girl next door type Ugly.
What else rhymes with rice?

The best segment of the podcast!

Judgysons People that judge the t-shirts of others.
Pun crazy When you use too many puns.
'That’s not a thing!' Ben’s favourite saying.
Bocket Not quite a pocket, not quite a bag. Not to be confused with the bucket.
The bucket bocket 2nd gen bocket.
The line-up Stuff you have in your pocket.
Life saving illness

You have to save someone or you get seriously ill.

James Blunt Obviously evil.
Drooling Legal in Paraguay.
Ladies Shark A shark who’s just looking for another notch in his fin.
Winston Churchill Famous parrot owner.
Idle Idol A competition involving, who can stay still the longest.
An Idea Vicki Me, but with better ideas.
Pool Existing.
The Stinkeye

Why cows always have their eyes half closed, that’s what they’re doing.

Prepared cows When cows are ready for you to come tip them.

Episode 12 - Lie here and be sexed upon!
Term
Definition
Dr Seuss disease When you get a disease that rhymes a lot.
The Cancer Guy Ben’s new nickname.
The Crab What Ben wants his new nickname to be.
Brooke yourself One Tree Hill’s phrase for masturbating.
Sexual zeal Vicki’s new nickname.
Sex ambush The best kind of ambush (often confused with ‘rape’).
Double Craig Two Craig segments!
WHPD Party A 'Where has Papa Danced' party or 'We Hate Penis Day' celebration.
The Flaming Razor An episode of “The Crab”.
Future blouse It never comes. And that is where our hope lies.

Episode 13 - There's a puppy and boobs!
Term
Definition
Irish people and robots What’s the difference?
The tired leper disorder

When you get so tired, you shed limbs because you can’t carry them.

Super badger The winner of the badger crushing competition.
Really comfortable pirate ship

From where we used to podcast.

Browny McFadden & The Blue Hornet The new names for M&M Flavours.
The Milk Carton Kids Our new band.
“I’m confused but whatever” A statement made right before an impromptu threesome.
Assless chaps British men with no bums.
“It’s like I’m talking directly into Simba” How Ben likes to imagine his daily life.
Lone thinker One who only thinks alone.
Loan thinker

Someone who borrows thoughts.

Insane-O’s

The term we are NOT using for our audience.

SMSiquette The etiquette of sending text messages.
Cold toilet A fresh toilet.
“Leave the onesie!”

The cry in Holiday Inns across Britain.

“I’ll just surprise my girlfriend from behind” A boyfriend’s last thoughts.
Guilty Feet A musical about a child dying from dancing. The prequel to “Footloose”.
TAB The name given to the monopoly organisation for betting on horse racing, trots and greyhound racing standing for Totalisator Agency Board not 'The Tijuana and Bestiality show'.
GeorgeJu George Clooney Jnr
Spin off dreams When you have a dream about something that your friend has already dreamt about.
Mental theatre Dreams.
Shopping centre joke Works on two levels.
Nap centres The movies.
Smello-cod-cast One smell and it’s really gross.
Smello-guessing Guessing what something smells like.

Episode 14 - Don't get your hopes up
Term
Definition
McFlurry Envy When you foolishly don’t get yourself a McFlurry and have to watch someone else eat one, when you know you want one. Sucker!
Rapunzeling When you have to get out of a window, using only tissues or hair.
Game Tease

When you’re waiting to play a game with someone, but they go all ‘windows download’ on you and can’t commit to how far away they are.

The mild emergency line Stubbed your toe? Call 333.
Magma men

We’re magma people!!! Magma PEOPLE!!

‘The allure of why’ When the most interesting part of something is why the hell it even occurred in the first place.
Celebrity botherer

Someone who goes up to celebrities when they recognise them.

Two-leggys

How cats see people.

Goggle suntan That tan you get when you’re skiing.
Grocery roulette

Where you get something and you have to eat it for the whole day.

TV Roulette

Torture (or just watching regular TV without a guide).

Date Roulette Arranged Marriages.
Who Dares Spins When you go to a Chinese restaurant with a lazy susan, spin it and you have to eat whatever lands in front on you.
Roulette Inoculations The world’s safest idea.
‘Seriously gonna bum you out’ A movie rating we should bring in.
Deep sea trawling

A dating technique that involves scooping up EVERY fish in the sea.

The ‘you’re not a psycho test’

The first round of a multiple round job interview, where they just want to check you’re not a mental patient who’s going to eat their own face.

Choosing a supervisor A lot like dating.
The ‘we’re in a relationship’ form

Facebook

Crossiquette The etiquette of button pressing at a cross walk.
Show of no faith in her pressing When someone has already pressed the crossing button, but you’re not sure so you repress. Re: Bad crossiquette.
Non-presser

Something you don’t want to get accused of. Also bad crossiquette.


Episode 15 - Superman vs the Sex Robots
Term
Definition
Easy listening dungeon A place where you’re chained to a basement wall and forced to listen to elevator music.
Engloo The non-trademark Igloo Brand...from England.
The Bold Internet Rule If it’s on the internet and in bold, it must be true.
A diamond in the rough Ben’s face.
Happy Birthday song fail

When you try to start singing Happy Birthday, but it doesn’t catch on.

Happy Birthday solidarity

Once one person starts singing, you GOTTA join in!

Happy Birthday situation Involves a lot of ropes.
Enjoyment commitment

The rule enforcing you to give some sort of obvious sense of enjoyment when others are singing to you.

Maxi-sitter Sitting till the longest possible moment.
Habitual non-recliner When you never, ever recline your seat in public transport.
A musketeer action

When something you do is either all for one or one for all.

Least desirable seat Where you sit so no one sits near you.
The murderers

The people who will get you, if you do the wrong thing at night, like open the refrigerator.

Rodgic

Rodney Logic.

Sprecover A bed spread/cover.
Cover

Day time friend, move it off the bed.

Spread Always friend, keep it on the bed.
The puppy saddle 3000

Another great invention from Insane Ramblings.

Saving Private Robin The latest bird war movie.
'The usual'

When you can go into a shop, and they know what you want straight away.

Emo punchbuggy

A new game (similar to the punch buggy game), where you act out emo like actions upon spotting an emo. Some call it ‘battle royale’, some call it ‘murder-suicide.’

Geisha Something Ben might be.
Cutiquette The etiquette of not offending your hairdresser after you’d had a haircut.
Benchy A generic bench nickname.
Cavalier squeezer One who squeezes from anywhere on the toothpaste tube.
A system thrower Someone who messes with your perfect system.

Episode 16 - It was the work of idiots
Term
Definition
"We never did" Our latest slogan.
Blicki When Ben and Vicki combine. Like two midgets on each other's shoulders in a giant coat.
AA April Giving up alcohol for April.
Falling off the AAgon When you don't make it through AA April.
Maysted Getting back on the piss in a big way the next month.
Cryptic newspaper Like the cryptic crossword, but you have to decipher it in order to get your news.
"It was the work of idiots" Another Insane Ramblings quote.
Moth Whisperer Vicki's father.
Moth lined When a moth directly goes somewhere, it's not only a talent for bees.
"Year of the playa, playa" 2010
Jim Who the hell is Jim?
Daddy Something you don't want to call yourself.
Casual sex Fridays A new competing initiative to casual Fridays. All aboard!
Regular sex Monday through Thursday.
Hump day The work of madmen.
Casual mermaid When you wear half casual clothes, half normal workwear.
Casual Siren When you trick other people into wearing casual clothes.
Sexy Twister Competitions Stuff that Ben dreams about.
Approach A creepy action unless you're a pilot.
A system thrower Someone who messes with your perfect system.

Episode 17 - Damn these fast attractive women!
Term
Definition
Eight April Like groundhog day, but for a whole lot longer.
Dibstopian A lawless place where dibs rules aren't followed.
The Slow Burn Like putting a lobster in cold water. Then the water slowly heats up, and you're in a relationship with a maniac (or crustacean) without realising it.
The Lobster Trap Trademarked...awkward.
The Lobster Trap II When you trick people into dating you.
Dibs Violator Jackasses that should be attacked on sight.
The dibs hat To be used when people are waiting to dibs someone in a relationship and the relationship ends. All the interested parties get their names into a Harry Potter style sorting hat, which then whispers the name of the successful candidate (and occassionally tells them that they've been selected for Gryffindor).
Dibs seniority A factor in deciding who has the priority in a dibs scenario; determined by the length of pre-dibs feelings for a person. Used in situations where the dibs 'target' has just got out of a long relationship.
Dibs prescedent The evidence that comes into account from previous situations in sorting out who should have dibs.
The Gentlemen Clause "Friend shall not use dibs to kill friend". To be taken into account in certain dibs scenarios.
The ultimate rule of dibs First, do no harm.
The Mormon Missionary Ben's favourite position (sexually). Not to be confused with 'upright', which is one of his preferred standing positions.
Keith May WAS THE DOG!!
The Sex Olympics Loved by many. Totally kicks the ass of the regular Olympics but not 'The Sex Paralympics'.
Chad A Country filled with men that Ben doesn't openly hate.
Free Sex! A phrase Ben uses to get women.
The Pony Principle You ask for a pony when you want a mouse.
Relationship Points Accrued best by getting shot in the hand.
The Old "Just a Scratch" Routine How to earn relationship points by manning up after an injury.
Crowd heckles When someone yells out something amusing from the middle of the mob.
Sexsexual How Vicki feels about Bert and Ernie.
The flesh of our enemies The most environmentally friendly toilet paper.
The bathroom and the toilet Go hand in hand.
The Tease When you ask for the "bathroom" and people take you to it, ignoring the inverted commas that were meant to imply that you need to crap. Free advice: Crap in their sink. That'll teach them to tease you.
The Fortress of Solitude Where you want to be when you have to listen to your alarm go off (or when looking for Superman).
Setting your alarm to that loud noise rather than a radio station Deal breaker
Jason DeRulo Lyrical Genius
The iJudge A new Insane Ramblings app, that allows you to discriminate against people for stupid reasons.
Sniffcast When you need to sniffle a sniffle, but in front of an audience.
Snifblog.com Where snifcast is hosted, for the sniff loving audience.

Episode 18 - I made out with my cousin - The one year anniversary special
Term
Definition
 
Coming Soon

Episode 19 - You can put that in your Christmas cracker
Term
Definition
The ottoman empire A real empire, that makes idiots make awkward jokes about footstools in the wrong context.
Uno Something you should take to play when you're early.
The Streets English needs more words. There are not enough to distinguish between the thousand things this could refer to.
Train people People on the train, not some sort of crazy hybrid.
Vicki's web of lies What Ben helps Vicki to spin.
Vicki's tricks for making men sick Poison them.
The 'Before Breakfast Rule' No one can pick you up before breakfast.
The Massive Mascots Hour of Devour Giant company mascots are pitted against each other to see what they can eat.
Tampon situation Something that you don't hear very often.
A man standing near his girlfriends' bag A potential bomb diffuser.
Dropping his Playboys Hugh Hefner mooning people
Brian India's archenemy in Pakistan
Potential 'Boyfriend Kudos Points' Vicki's are going to waste!
Skin goo We don't know what it is but it's gross and you don't want it on your bed.
The man wince When it doesn't hurt that much at the time, but hurts a lot when you're getting cleaned up.
Problem story One that gets LESS exciting at the end
Aquanym An aquatic acronym. It's theorised that fishes speak this way because they only have 2 second memories.
'You can put that in your christmas cracker' An elaborate way to tell someone that their joke is really lame.
Insane Stinging When we get together with Sting. Yeah, we call him by his first name.
Pirate Pete No relation to Blazer Bill.
Predictive sex When you already know it's not going to be good.

Episode 20 - That's so buffalo
Term
Definition
The Pelvis Breaker
The ironic nickname of someone who never breaks any pelvises.
Filth Cool. Fetch. Yak.
That's so veneral! Another good slogan.
Yak The new word for cool.
The Yaxis of Evil What happens when Yak's come together to plot our demise. It's pretty scary.
Yakina A) A country located near Yakland. B) Something that can be cured with a cream.
Psychofizz Insane Ramblings new energy drink, which could make you insane. "You can't play it safe all the time!"
FACT! Saying this at the end of a sentance makes it automatically true and commands authority.
Pandemonium Nobody saving their computer files!
Mango Cuppers Society Is looking for mascots.
Sneezeblog A subsidiary of Insane Ramblings. A sneeze related subsidiary.
Operate Where you cut people up, but not kill them.
B.P "Before Poop". Before hearing the poop story. Your life as you know it.
A.P. "After Poop". Life is different.
The Poop 'n' Lay A mythical creature.
The Toilet Where poops live.
The Liver Where racism comes from.
Jim's Perving Jim's latest venture.
The reverse burqua A new garment that hides the face but everything else is visible.
Embrace yourself! What you should do before you see the two faced baby.
Boobs off Sounds painful.
Reverse Porching Who's watching the watchers?!
The tram The train of the road. A disgusting hybrid.
Skunking Coming in contact with a bad smell and having that smell follow you.